Grims place

Why do people lie

Wed, 08 Oct 2003 11:37:21 GMT

if people wonder why I am not talking much it is because last nite I was offered money,to pay for my ticket to Storm,but deep down I knew the person was fall of shit,again another lie.
another friend,whom got given money by a friend to go to the states told me she would(once her house had sold) pay for my ticket over,just like her friend did for her,but as normal,these ened up being hollow promises.
one day maybe someone will keep thier word to me,till then I wont hold my breath,and no I dont expect a hand out,it is just annoying to told one thing and another thing happens
people wonder why I dont trust anyone till they prove they can be trusted

hopeful thinking

Mon, 06 Oct 2003 07:19:18 GMT

it's good seeing people that meet online,get together but at the same time it depresses me as most have met and in a short while are together,where as I have been waiting 2 years to get to see Storm.
At times I think/feel it's just a dream,something out of My reach and control.......
and seeing I have 2 kids,it is going to be at least another 2 years or more before we can think of a permant place to live to be together.
It annoys me when people question my feelings for her,or that I maybe using her shrugs,thier choice to think like that I dont care........
I sometimes feel in some way I have held Storm back from moving forward. I love her very much,I just wish at times I could let her see/feel this love and unless my luck changes it will only seem a dream .
times I think I should just vanish in to the shadows but couldnt see My life without Storm in it she has given me back a life.
The only thing I get worried about is the polly life she leaads,I am affraid one will try to steal her from me and being so far apart makes it worse,also not being able to do much to help her and watching/hearing about others who have,I seem stuck in a circle of self doubt and insecurities that one day I will wake and this has all beenm a dream.

first post in here

Thu, 02 Oct 2003 12:05:42 GMT

Storm sent me this to try so I am posting for the first time in here.
I would have done it ages ago but My windows decided to crash (with a lil help from My son,I had to reload windows,this time instead of win98se I got win.ME and it seems ok thus far.....
this is short and sweet as it is bed time for me as I have work tomorrow....